(Episode 3 Summary) Are You Stuck in a Time Loop? How to Spot the Exact Moment Trauma is Replaying in Your Life

Alina Soto
Oct 28
4 min read

Do you find yourself saying, "This always happens to me," or "Why do I keep dating the same person in a different body?"

In this powerful episode, “How to Spot Trauma Within Self, Part One: Defining Trauma,” Dr. Jeannine and Dr. Soto (they/them) unpack the most critical, yet often misunderstood, definition of trauma: trauma is the past replaying in the present.

They share deeply personal stories and clinical wisdom to help you identify the exact pattern you're stuck in, empowering you to break free and begin the unfolding of joy. Here are the core insights that can change your life.

1. Trauma is Defined by Impact, Not the Event Itself

We often think of trauma only in terms of massive, catastrophic events. But Dr. Jeannine and Dr. Soto clarify that trauma is any event that is "more than the mind-body system can handle," leading the psyche to disconnect or disassociate.

The Transformative Insight: Trauma isn't about the severity of the incident; it's about the impact it has on you.

It's Personal: What traumatizes one person may motivate another. This is dependent on your inherent nature (proriti), the condition of your mind at the time, and—most importantly—the social support you received before, during, and after the event.
Small Hurts Leave Deep Scars: A seemingly small event, like a father failing to acknowledge a daughter's perfect report card, can create a lasting impression. Years later, that impression manifests as a deep belief that "my best is not good enough", creating a chronic feeling of failure in adulthood.

2. The Trauma Time Loop and the "I Can't" Story

Dr. Jeannine describes their experience as the "trauma trigger time loop." When triggered, an emotional part of them—stuck in a past adverse event—takes over, pulling them out of the present and distorting their perception. This leads to confusing and immature actions.

Dr. Soto offers a simple, clinical definition that cuts straight to the point: trauma is the "I can't" story.

The Transformative Insight: The feeling of being "stuck" or convinced you "can't" move forward is a direct result of trauma that has convinced you that the past is the future. Dr. Soto sees trauma as the resistance toward the truth of a painful experience. This resistance creates a separation of self, leaving you feeling isolated and powerless.

3. The Mistake You Keep Making: Waiting for Others to Act

The most common sign that the past is replaying is ending up in the same relationships over and over again.

Dr. Jeannine and Dr. Soto both bravely share how their romantic relationships mirrored the chaos and unreliability of their childhood wounds (specifically, their relationships with their mothers/fathers).

The Transformative Insight: Dr. Soto identified their repeated mistake as "waiting." They waited for others to match their word with action, and because they were so focused on the word (the promise), they missed the obvious action (the lack of effort).

A Simple Truth: If someone is not autonomously taking accountability or doing their part, that is who they are. Waiting for them to change is a mistake that keeps you complicit in the cycle.
Reclaiming Your Power: You regain control by asking: "What is the mistake I keep repeating?" The answer is usually simple, not complex.

4. Staying Stuck is a Choice—And So is Joy

Dr. Soto delivers one of the hardest truths of healing: staying stuck is a choice.

While this is incredibly difficult to swallow, it is also incredibly empowering. Recognizing that you haven't lost the power of choice is the key to cleaning your lens and ending the cycle.

Dr. Jeannine’s ultimate realization, after decades of hard work, was the ability to step into their power, declaring, "I am a queen," and no longer settling for less than a partner who is their equal.

The Transformative Insight: True transformation occurs through awareness during the process, not just after. By accepting the simple reality of your impact without judgment and letting go of the belief that the past determines the future, you move into a place where you can genuinely say, "Thank you for the pain."

That gratitude is the visceral peace that marks the end of the loop and the beginning of your joy.

Ready to Start Choosing a Different Path?

This episode is about moving from "I can't" to "I choose." If you’re tired of the same relationship cycles and are ready to claim your power of choice, dive deeper into this conversation!

Listen to the full episode, "The Unfolding of Joy," to hear Dr. Jeannine and Dr. Soto share more strategies for recognizing the past's influence and building your new, joyful future.

You can also explore their offerings and clinical frameworks:

Dr. Soto (they/them): Learn more about their trauma resolution work and strategies for breaking patterns.
Dr. Jeannine: Discover the strength-building approach of the EDHIR process and Ayurvedic support for the mind.

Choose awareness. Choose to break the cycle. Choose joy.